By 6-8 months your baby is fully ready and capable to be completely done with eating at night. Dr. Sears suggests that some parents really enjoy feeding their babies at night and will happily continue offering night feeding sessions until the child stops waking up on their own. If you are one of these mythical “I love waking up in the middle of the night” parents, best of luck to you. Personally I don’t know any people like this. And I think they’re really rare. Like unicorn rare.
But my point is that by this time your baby no longer needs to consume lots of food at night and is fully capable of getting all their calories in during daylight hours. And while a few babies will organically drop all their night feedings without any assistance from you, the vast majority of babies will continue to wake up routinely for a nursing session or bottle for years. So you can live with night feedings for the next 3 years, or you can take some simple and effective steps to gently wean your baby off their night feeding habit.
If you think you’re ready to stop night feedings you must have already read and done your homework from Sleeping Through the Night Part 1 and Sleeping Through the Night Part 2. Otherwise my no-fail night weaning strategy will fail miserably!
Start by choosing the feeding that is the least fun for you (typically this is the “dear God why are you awake it’s freeking 2:00 AM” feeding). Use the relevant process outlined below to completely wean off one feeding. Repeat.
Night Weaning for Breastfed Babies
- Gradually reduce the amount of time baby gets on the breast by 1 minute every 1-2 days. For example if your baby nurses 10 minutes a side (for a total of 20 minutes), start popping him off at 9 minutes, 8 minutes, etc.
- By the time your baby is only nursing for 2-3 minutes he may stop waking up all on his own. WHOOPIEE!
- If your baby STILL wants to nurse then you have a few options on how to handle it:
- A) Send daddy in for 1 minute of low-key soothing. Daddies are miraculously good at this. Also? They don’t smell like food. Babies are much more adaptive at getting the “no more food for you buddy” message from Dads.
- B) Let him complain. This should NOT be a nightmare CIO scene. Most babies who have been gently decreasing their milk consumption are now USED to not eating at this time. Left to their own devices they typically complain for 5-10 minutes and then fall back to sleep.
- When you are done feeding your baby at X time of night you are DONE. Don’t let teething/colds/travel get you back on the night feeding menu. If this happens you need to start over again. Do not pass GO. Do not collect $200.
Night Weaning for Bottle-fed Babies
- Preferred Method: Dilute the formula by reducing the amount of formula in the bottle by 1 scoop but leave the amount of water the same. So instead of 8 oz of water with 4 scoops of formula you would offer 8 oz of water with 3 scoops of formula.
- If your baby has an unusually refined pallet and refuses the diluted formula (this is VERY rare) you can instead offer 2 oz less of formula. So instead of an 8 oz bottle, offer a 6 oz bottle.
- Continue decreasing the dilution of the formula until the bottle is 100% water. (Or continue offering less formula in the bottle – 6 oz, 4 oz, 2 oz)
- At this point your baby will probably stop waking up for this feeding all on their own. If not read the tips above (for breastfed babies) on how to proceed.
- When you are done with a given feeding you are DONE. No more bottles at that time of night. The kitchen is closed.
I’ve done this with many families over the years and it works shockingly well. Don’t believe me? Try it. Then come back next week and share your success story in the comment section!
There are a few small caveats to night weaning that I want to share….
The Dreaded Early Morning Feeding
It’s really common for babies to wake up to nurse in the early morning, say 5:00 AM, and then fall back to sleep for another 1-2 hours. When starting the night weaning process I suggest that this is the LAST feeding session you tackle.
Why?
Because babies often respond to giving up the 5:00 AM feeding by deciding instead to start the day. I think the problem is that a) it’s close enough to their normal wakeup time b) they’re used to waking up at that time already and c) they’ve gotten enough sleep that basic exhaustion won’t just whisk them back to dreamland.
I have no magic solution to this dilemma. Try weaning off the early morning feeding and see what happens. Your baby may continue to sleep happily until their normal wakeup time. Your baby may figure out how to fall back asleep at 5:00 am with a little gentle soothing encouragement from you or your partner. Or your baby may flatly refuse to go back to sleep without being fed.
If the latter then you can decide if you want to simply concede defeat and continue with the 5:00 AM feeding rather than wake up in the early dark of the morning. Personally I think an extra hour or two of sleep is worth dealing with the 5:00 AM feeding. If you’re nursing I would strongly encourage you to give your baby a bottle instead at this hour so you and your partner can take turns.
Baby is Too Young
You are welcome to try to gently night wean when your baby is younger than 6-8 months old. Sometimes it works. More often it doesn’t. But there is no harm in trying to drop a feeding or two in the 4-6 month time frame. If things go smoothly, great! If not your baby may simply be too young and may not be physically ready to go for longer stretches without eating. Wait a few weeks and then try again.
Using CIO to Stop Night Feedings
Cry it out is a lousy way to stop night feedings. For starters, a baby who is used to eating a lot at night will cry A LOT if asked to stop eating at night all at once. I guarantee you many of those CIO horror stories you can find on baby forums were caused by misguided parents who had a baby used to drinking 24 oz of formula at night and then was cut off cold turkey. I get cranky when I skip a meal. If I didn’t eat all day I’m almost ready to eat my own young. Don’t ask your babies to do this.
Cry it out is a useful technique and it has a very specific purpose. But it’s not useful for night weaning.
So if you’ve taught your baby how to fall asleep on their own, you are ready to get started on night weaning!
Share a comment below. What worked/didn’t work for you? Any advice for handling the dreaded 5:00 AM feeding/wakeup? If so drop me a line. We’ll write a bestselling baby sleep book and become billionaires!
{photo credit: DonkeyHotey and Stephen Heron}
Linda on 
Laura on 
Great post and very timely for us! We’ve just gotten through using CIO to get my 6 month old fall asleep during nap and for bed at night. We used lots of your tips and have had great success! It has CHANGED OUR LIVES! We now have a baby who naps and who can get to sleep on her own!!! I am SO GRATEFUL.
Problem is, she’s still waking up quite a bit throughout the night… anywhere from 3-4 times. I am feeling like we should just ride the wave and be happy with the gains we’ve already made, but I know that she needs to learn how to sleep longer. For her own sake. And, of course, for my sake.
I am anxious to try your tips, but the problem is that she’s very inconsistent about when she wakes up… sometimes 10:30, 12:30, 3 and 5… other days just 11 and 4. Any tips as to how night weaning might work for us given the inconsistency of the frequency and timing of her wake-ups?
Which is more normal (the 4-5 X a night or the 2 X a night)?
Two things you might try….
1) Can you figure out when she is REALLY hungry vs. just needing some soothing? I mean if she’s waking up every 2-3 hours she’s probably not literally starving because she JUST ate. Plus you know she can go for long stretches because sometimes she does. If you can figure out when the wake up is hunger vs. soothing you could stop feeding her as often at night through some parental detective work.
2) Otherwise….start cutting short her first feeding of the night whenever it happens to be. 10:30/11:00 seems sort of regular? So start working on the first one. Thus she get’s all the time she wants after midnight but the pre-midnight feedings are going to start getting shorter.
Does that make sense?
Alexis
Alexis recently posted..What You Need to Know About Sleeping Through the Night Part 3
Hi there, thanks for the post! We are dealing with a 4-month-old who suddenly started waking in the night after 1.5-3 hour chunks of sleep. There seems to be no rhyme or reason to them, and the times are all over the place. Instead of his usual longer chunks, they are getting shorter and shorter. He can fall asleep on his own, although we do give him a pacifier. But we leave the room while he is still awake…I noticed you don’t mention anywhere about this mysterious thing I keep reading about called the 4 month sleep regression. Any thoughts on this? Could this be the reason little man is sleeping worse, and if so, will he get better on his own or do we need to start some sort of sleep training? Sometimes (rarely) we can get him back to sleep by simply giving him the paci again or if he cries a little rocking (still putting him back down awake once he is calm). Mostly I have to nurse him to calm him down though.
My baby did that too, almost exactly at four months. I’ve been told there’s a developmental benchmark at that time, when babies’ personalities start to kick in — there’s a bit of a break from whatever pattern they may previously have developed, and they have to acclimate.
Good to know you survived, gives me hope! Do you remember about how long until your baby was sleeping a little longer at night?
For us it got worse before it got better. By six months he was waking up every 45 minutes to 2 hours and he was pretty sleep deprived (basically, Alexis’ cri de coeur — the raison d’être of Troublesome Tots, if you will). Our baby was struggling with reflux, though, and a bunch of bad habits that we had developed that we thought were necessary to get him to sleep. In desperation, at 6.5 months, we did some hardcore sleep training (which I would never recommend to anyone except in extenuating circumstances, as it’s horrible – I think Alexis details the whole decision tree leading up to this option in her posts) and only then did we see big improvements. Now he generally stays in his crib from 7:30pm to 7:30am except for feedings around 11:30pm and 4:30 am, and we’re trying to figure out how to eliminate the 11:30pm feeding using Alexis’ weening suggestions.
He’s certainly not sleeping the entire time he’s in his crib – he wakes up a lot, moves around, whines, etc. but generally puts himself back to sleep, so we feel very fortunate.
Matt – I have many reasons to love you. The fact that you just spoke French in a comment has just been added to the list
Alexis recently posted..A Pediatrician Weighs in on Infant Reflux
Minnie,
Matt is right that it could definitely be a sleep regression – Ask Moxie has a nice article about it:
http://moxie.blogs.com/askmoxie/2006/02/qa_what_are_sle.html
But here’s the deal – if 1-2 weeks have gone by and nothing has gotten better than either a) it WASN’T a sleep regression OR b) the way you handled things have resulted in a night-waking habit.
EX. if you have a baby who goes long stretches without nursing but then you start feeding him every ~1 hour all night long you’ll end up with a baby who NOW is used to eating every ~1 hour all night long and will demand to do so.
I’m not saying you need to do CIO per se but I am saying that:
1) Try to soothe him back to sleep without the boob (you know he can’t be THAT hungry ALL night long right?). Have your partner do it – he doesn’t smell like food and thus will have more success than you will.
2) If he’ll only take the boob start working on popping him off sooner so that he isn’t consuming as many calories. We don’t want to get used to getting all his calories at night. Does that make sense?
Alexis recently posted..What to Do About Infant Reflux?
Actually he hasn’t gone long stretches since he was about 5 weeks old. And those long stretches lasted about 6 weeks before they dwindled to a halt at around 3 months old. Since then there have been a few 5 hour stretches, but not many. These days we’re lucky if we get a 3 hour stretch. I don’t always feed him, especially when he has only slept an hour or 2 before waking. Hubby will give him the paci, and sometimes he’ll go back to sleep. Other times he acts like we’re beating him, crying so hard, and that’s when I’ll break down and feed him. But last night I didn’t let him suckle long after it was clear he wasn’t eating anymore. I will keep working on that! Thank you both for the advice!
So – not a sleep regression then but a generalized “baby sleep problem.”
Have you tried the swing? Check the article below. If he has been waking up 5-6 times a night for the past 3 month (that’s what is happening yes?) then it’s time to do something different. And my first suggestion would be to put him in a swing. The angle and soothing motion often help “up all night” babies sleep longer stretches. Good luck!
Alexis recently posted..The Ultimate Baby Swing Sleep Guide For Swing Hating Babies
Also, little bubs goes around 3.5 hours between nursing sessions in the day. Pediatrician says he “should” be going 4. It just doesn’t work out to go that long with naps and the length of time he stays awake. Also, I’m worried getting that few of feedings in during the day will result in more night wakings. He’s so distractible these days I’m lucky if he nurses for 10 minutes at a time.
Hi Minnie, I’m just replying to a question about your little guy distracted during daytime feedings… I have 6 month old twins who are VERY distracted and so I’ve come to terms with having to go into the nursery for pretty much every feed, and rocking in dim light on the glider. Now, they both just concentrate on the boob and have good feeds and I’ve noticed that the nighttime feeds have decreased since doing this. I hope this helps?
Fina (see below) is totally on the mark. Also I agree with YOU – more feedings during the day is better than more at night. Personally my suggestion is let them feed at will during the DAY while gradually weaning at NIGHT.
Alexis recently posted..The Thing About Sleep Regressions
Just wanted to comment where you said your ped said the babe should be going 4 hours between feeds… My doc would certainly say this is WRONG and says that most babies will happily breastfeed every two hours all day so that they are full enough to have long stretches of sleep at night. The magic 6 – 8 feeds a day are not designed to be spaced equally, but “front loaded” with a couple very close together before bedtime so that they will sleep longer without a feed. I think spacing feeding out too much during the day could be backfiring on you.
I didn’t know that I should reduce the feeding time with my baby especially with the breast feeding session because as I previously know, breast feeding is best for babies. Which is better breast feeding or bottle feeding?
Thanks for the information. I learned a lot!
-Wilma
Um…I’m not getting into the “bottle vs. breast” debate BUT…
Nobody is suggesting that you stop nursing! What I AM saying is that as your baby get’s older they don’t need to consume calories (from either source) at night and are fully capable of getting all their food during the day. So nurse to your heart’s content all day long but use the night for sleeping.
Alexis recently posted..What You Need to Know About Sleeping Through the Night Part 3
I have an 8 month old that I am going to try and wean. She goes to bed at 6:45 awake (we’ve already tackled the sleep training) after having a bottle and sometimes cereal. She then wakes up somewhere between 9:45-10:30, 12:30-2am, and 4. The feeding that I would like to initially eliminate is the middle feeding. Would that also be your suggestion?
It’s really up to YOU. It probably makes sense though as you are probably still UP for the 10:00 feeding and would rather NOT wake up for the 2:00 feeding
So yeah that’s probably where I would start too.
Alexis recently posted..I am the Official CIO Spokesperson. Apparently.
I’m pretty positive I should be the CIO mom poster child. I see so many other people talk about emotional distress etc; I find that ridiculous. We cry about everything and we are still fine. Babies cry when they want to eat, need to be changed it’s just what they do to communicate. I would nurse my daughter and make sure she was full.
The first night I decided to try the CIO method it was hard she cried for an hour straight and was very angry. I told her every 5-10 minutes “It’s ok mama’s here time for bed” Before that point she would just fuss and be so frustrated because she needed to sleep. Here are my results:
Night ONE : Cried for an hour straight passed out.
Night TWO: Cried for 10 minutes fell asleep. I couldn’t believe it I looked and yup sure enough she was passed out.
Night Three , four, five and so on? She goes to bed every single night without fail around 8:30 PM. She sleeps through the entire night and has without fail since she was 3 months. (I did not attempt the CIO method until she was 6 months)
It’s too late to tell me that it doesn’t work I know it does and she is a much happier baby because of it.
Oh and I was nursing and still am in case anyone wondered and she is fine to sleep through the night. I do give her some cereal right before bed also to make sure her belly is full.
Lisa Cash Hanson recently posted..A Day For A Blogger To Be Thankful
Hey Lisa,
So I’ll be the spokesperson and you can be the posterchild and we can travel the world as the face of CIO
Actually what you describe (nights 1-3) is TOTALLY what happens when you do CIO right. Night one blows and then everybody is shocked when night two goes surprisingly well. So good for you!
Alexis recently posted..I am the Official CIO Spokesperson. Apparently.
Hmmm, maybe I need to hear about the “right” way to CIO. I thought we were being pretty darned consistent with my son, but he would do something like this (though I’m sure my memory is probably foggy at this point):
Night 1: Scream to the point of almost vomiting 2.5 hours.
NIght 2: Scream to the point of almost vomiting 2.5 hours, mother takes a walk outside and cries too. Thankfully husband listened from the other room and heard son get stuck under covers and need rescuing from suffocation.
Night 3: Scream lustily for 1.5 hours.
Nights 5, etc.: Scream for 1 hour, throwing himself against crib.
Nights 7 and on: back to 2 hours…
Night 10ish: We gave up.
Every couple of months, we would try a round again. Finally, I stopped caring whether or not he slept in his own bed. We gave up. And brought our kid to bed. And we slept most of the night. And our marriage and sanity was saved.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not opposed to crying it out in certain circumstances (I like your “are you ready for CIO” post), but the method just plain didn’t work for our kid. Even day time weaning took us from 15 months to 17 months for it to be successful (I know that its different from the sleep issue). He protested vehemently every day. He is one strong willed child. (Whom I love dearly.) Unless maybe we did it “wrong?” I’d love to hear your method. Maybe we were missing something.
Sounds good to me LOL. Actually I’ve been having peaceful nights ever since. My friends who actually do try the CIO think it’s a miracle and frankly so do I!
Lisa Cash Hanson recently posted..Comment on Top 25 Tech Moms – 2012 Mompreneur Mogul Just Nominated by Lisa Cash Hanson
Hi Alexis,
Thank you for the wonderful information you’ve got on your site–especially the reflux info and links! My 6.5 month old was diagnosed with GERD and a double ear infection when he was about 5 weeks old, and now I’m wondering if it really was/is GERD….or just the double ear infection….or a cow’s milk allergy. I’m into week two of no dairy for me, and I’m really reluctant to just wean him off his Prilosec to see what happens. His sleep, in general, used to be absolutely wretched, and now I’d say it has improved to just mildly wretched
He doesn’t really have a schedule yet, and it’s driving me nuts, as I feel completely cooped up in my house (I think my 2 year old daughter is starting to feel the same way, too!).
1) Is it still “normal” for a 6.5 month old to be erratic with bed/wake times? My little guy goes to sleep for the night (puts himself to sleep) sometime between 7:30-8:30pm and wakes up anywhere between 5:00-8:30am. If he wakes between 5-6am, he’ll eat and then go back to sleep until 7:45-8:30ish. I’m going to start trying to wean off the early am feeds–they just kill me, because by the time I’ve held him upright for the GERD, it’s practically time for me to get up with my 2 yo for the day.
2) Is it also normal for a 6.5 month old to have erratic nap times/lengths? He used to nap for no longer than 30 minutes at a time–thank goodness we’re past that!!! And yet, I never know exactly when he’ll go down, based on his wake time. He’ll get tired in anywhere from 1 1/2 to 3 hour chunks, and the first two naps of the day are getting to be 1-1 1/2ish hours, with a shorter nap near the end of the day, but there’s no predictability in their timing. (And sometimes he’ll throw in a 30 minute nap in the middle of the day, just to throw me off, and he’ll end up having 4 total naps……or 2 total naps, like today, which meant he was awake from 2:30-8:00ish–with two failed nap attempts in between!).
3) Any advice on transitioning a younger sibling to an older sibling’s bedroom? Currently, our little guy is in his crib in our bedroom and my husband and I are sleeping in the guest room (it was easier than moving his crib twice….because where we really want him is with his sister in her/their room).
Thanks!
So sorry to hear about all you’ve got on your plate there
Just to be clear I hope you are going cassin free (vs. just dairy free) because it’s the milk protein (which crops up in almost ALL processed food) which causes issues. Thus no lactose-free products either as these also have milk protein in them. It blows for you but hopefully will help him a ton?
Reflux kids have a harder time sleeping because they are generally LESS comfortable than non-reflux kids. Also they tend to be so challenging as little babies that we parents turn to all sorts of bad habits which often persist even after things have sort of settled down in their tummies.
So yes it is sort of normal but no it’s not great that it’s happening. I mean – clearly if he starts his day at 5:00 am then obviously his night was a bit short and he’s probably a bit sleep deprived.
My general advice is to wean off those night feedings ASAP! He’s a healthy 6.5 month old kid right? Given that feedings for refluxing babies are generally a bit of a mess I would gradually wean off night feeding as gently but quickly as you can. As you noted – holding him upright after feedings BLOWS at 4:00 AM.
As for transitioning, I just want to suggest that it may not be entirely wise to have a 6 month old and 2 YO in the same room (is this what you’re talking about)? Basically from a safety perspective I’m not hugely keen on toddlers and babies sharing a room if it can possibly be avoided. I’m not saying your toddler will hurt your baby. But toddlers don’t understand the rules. For example she may want to give a “toy” to the baby and inadvertently but a small choking hazard in there. These are the issues that make co-rooming challenging with tiny kids.
I know – not the helpful advice you were hoping for
Good luck with the reflux and everything else!
Alexis recently posted..30 Practical Parenting Tips You Will Never Learn from the Movies
Hi again, just saw that someone replied to me but I can’t find the reply button anymore so I figured I’d follow up down here at the bottom.
Well, my guy is now 7.5 months old and I have to say, rather than going the CIO route I actually went more towards the attachment parenting route, going to him when he cried before cries got too intense, and nursing to sleep when he needed it, which usually only happens for the cat nap and sometimes bed. Things got dramatically less stressful for us, and I am sure he’s a happier baby without those 3 hour cry fests in the evening. Also, he’s going longer stretches at night on his own. In fact, last night he only woke up once to nurse and then was back to sleep. So just for anyone contemplating CIO as a last resort but feeling really yucky about it, there is hope that things will get better on their own if your are patient and willing to let it develop. Hang in there!!
Minnie recently posted..lady5280: Photoset: http://t.co/razrd0RV
Minnie,
Yeah comments only “nest” so many levels before it can’t go any further. So unfortunately the people who were part of the earlier discussion might not see your update. But I did! And I’m so happy you’re feeling better about things! Sounds like both you AND he are happier. And you sound a lot more confident in your parenting (at least that’s how I read it) now
So happy for you both!
Alexis
Alexis recently posted..30 Practical Parenting Tips You Will Never Learn from the Movies
I wasn’t sure which post I wanted to comment on, as I’ve been going back and forth between this night weaning and CIO stuff
all morning. So, for a couple months now, our baby has been falling asleep on his own at night, still swaddled, mind you… at 7.5 months. We pretty much used weissbluth’s method + solid routine for that. I would respond to night wakings, which generally were 1-2 times a night, with the second one being at 5am (back to sleep for another 1-2hrs as you mentioned) This week (every week seems different) he usually wakes up between 2:30-3:30am, and I feed him. And then just seems to wake up earlier, like 6am, difficult to get back down, and then cranky in the morning, with sh**ty naps all day. It seems that the days of me getting up to feed him, laying him down in his crib and leaving without protest are over. Regardless of the time of wake up, he pretty much has me for 1-1.5 hrs until he is in the deepest of deep sleeps, whether attached to my nipple or rocking, I am starting to hate the night time again (and the daytime naps too). Last night he did it twice, at 11pm and 2 (bedtime is usually 7:30/8) I sent my husband in, and basically he calms down when picked up, you rock him, think he’s asleep, lay him down, he screams … multiply that by 3, and you get the gist. Also, our naps have started to get inconsistent again, after transitioning out of the swing, I started rocking and or nursing him to sleep out of frustration while on vacation, and now things suck again. WTF? I was so frustrated the other morning at 3am that I just let him cry … it was the battle of wills, and he won after an hour of screaming, I couldn’t take it anymore, so bam … on the nipple he went. I’m sure this will guarentee more crying the next time. This sucks, What do I do? I can handle feeding him for 10-15 minutes in the middle of the night (though I’d rather be done), but I really do not like the rocking for 1 hr afterwards. Ahhhhh!!! Do I need to CIO at night wakings and nap train in the crib, and is it going to suck because of my inconsistency the last couple weeks? Will it still work??? I don’t want to feel so on edge about baby sleep, I am so sick of thinking and talking about it. I just want both of us to be happy 
ON that note, I will stop now. Thanks for giving me the opportunity to vent.
Of COURSE you’re frustrated. You’re probably thinking, “Hey we made all this great progress, things were getting better, and I was thinking of a day when getting everybody sleeping wouldn’t consume 90% of my brainpower and now BAM we’re right back at the beginning! WAAAAH!”
I get it. It sounds like you are suffering the after effect of vacation. And it’s payback time
My kids were the same way. Which is why we went on our first real vacation in 6 years this winter. Not a lie – that is the absolute truth. It was easier for me to hang out here than it was to pay the post-vacation penalty.
So you put him in his crib awake + swaddled yes? So all is good on that front. But then the night wakings are a mess and it sounds like he’s just not falling back asleep on his own. You said you let him cry for 1 hour and it was a big mess. What happens if you nurse him 1-2X a night (as you were) and THEN put him in his crib awake? My assumption is that he might cry also but it would be a lot less. Regardless that’s what I would do. You can start the gradual night weaning after but hanging out for 1.5 hours isn’t helping anybody. It’s also cutting into his night sleep which is going to work against your goal of better naps. (Tired babies take crappy naps.)
Temporarily you could try the swing for naps again. But I’m guessing that nursing to sleep for naps has put you back into short napdom territory (if not then hey, game on).
But I would nurse 1-2 times a night then put him back in his crib. Yes he will cry but I suspect it will not last as long. Let me know what happens – OK?
Alexis recently posted..10 Baby Sleep Questions
Thanks for the reply. He has done relatively well the last two nights when I put him down after feeding and walk out, so that’s good. Except for when he woke up at this morning at 5:30 and then didn’t go back to sleep … ugh (I don’t know how I’ll ever get rid of that feeding … but I can handle it if that’s the only one). Anyhow … question about night weaning. Since he has been waking up twice a night lately 11-1am and then 4-6am, which is more than it used to be, I know you suggest limiting the time of feeding. My little guy is pretty quick anyway, especially at 11pm, when my sacks are pretty much empty
If I send Daddy in for some rocking or something, is that sending mixed messages?? I don’t want to have to rock him to complete sleep again, multiple times a night. In the past when we’ve tried that, it seems like he gets pretty mad and then my husband will rock for a while, put down, he’ll scream, pick up and rock … then hand him to me out of frustration..ect ect. I just don’t know quite how to go about it without destroying our progress. All I know is my sleep is suffering big time with him waking up shortly after I fall asleep and then again early in the morning … where I then only get at most 1.5 hrs of sleep after. Blah!!! If he keeps waking up this early … it seems I’ll have to move him bedtime earlier too … erg, this baby is tricky and smart .. and super, super cute:)
Alexis help! Months on I am still having some sleep issues with my now 6.5 month old. He seems to go through phases of good and bad. He goes to sleep after a feed – put down awake and self settles. He has done that since about 3 months. Lately he is stirring every 40 mins for about 2-3 times after he goes to bed. Some times self settling other times screaming the house down an needing some cuddles for about 20 mins. Don’t know why this is happening. He feeds once between 11 and 2am. Biggest problem is 4am. He wakes up and in inconsolable. Me or partner go in and he settles eventually say 15 mins later. Then is awake again in 20 mins and the process repeats until we give up around 6am and get up. He doesn’t feed until 7am. Do u have any ideas why he is doing this?
Well it could be lots of things.
1) Mild reflux food allergies (general tummy issues, teething, etc.) – http://www.troublesometots.com/medical-problem/
2) Is he chronically sleep deprived? I know it’s a vicious circle – tired babies sleep poorly. Hard to break out of this cycle but that does lead to frequent night waking.
3) My best guess given age and what you are describing is that this is an object permanence issue – you put him down awake but the feed NEAR sleep is so connected in his bed that it’s essentially feed TO sleep. I would try separating food from bedtime by a solid 20-30 minutes and make sure he’s awake and you’re out of the room before he is asleep.
Why do I think this is the issue? Because if you go in and cuddle him to sleep he has no problem falling asleep. If it were medical the cuddling wouldn’t solve the issue. So I would take another pass through this one:
http://www.troublesometots.com/what-you-need-to-know-about-sleeping-through-the-night-part-i/
And see if you can’t make sure he’s REALLY falling asleep alone, is not connecting feed=sleep, and doesn’t have any night surprises (mobile shutting off, etc.) Hope that helps!
I am so glad I found your website! My daughter is 6.5 months old and we are On night 3 of CIO and hoping things continue to get better. It is a tough process, but I know I cannot give up because then all the crying thus far will be for nothing. It is nice to know that I can continue to feed her in the middle of the night. I know she is hungry and not yet ready to night ween intirely, and I think I can only handle doing one thing at a time. I have read other books that say if you feed sometimes and let cry others, then it is confusing to them, so I wasn’t sure what to do, but your advice has reminded me to trust my instincts and listen to my baby. I was wondering though, when I feed her in the middle of the night, is it ok for her to fall asleep while eating, or should I try to lay her down awake and let her self sooth back to sleep. Thanks!
In my experience babies who fall asleep nursing do OK as long as you aren’t nursing to sleep at bedtime. Also you’ll want to separate nursing from bedtime by at least 20 minutes. So if you put her in her crib at 7:00 pm then you’ll want to finish nursing at around 6:30 then continue on with the rest of your wind-down.
Anyway it should be fine.
Alexis recently posted..10 Baby Sleep Questions
Hi Alexis, thank you for having this blog. I am grateful that you are offering your expertise to those of us who are desperately looking for solutions to our children sleep problems. I read your blog religiously.
My son is 7 months and has not been sleeping well since day 1. He is exclusively breastfeed. He has frequent night wakings from 11 – 5am every night and ready for the day by 5am and sometimes 6. His naps are getting shorter and shorter. We are ready to let him to learn to sleep by himself.
Our routine has been bath, boob, and bed. He usually fall asleep while eating. You suggested that boob, bath, and then bed. Disassociate boob with sleep at least for 20 minutes.
Today is our first night training, I’ve tried to feed him before bath but all he does was looking around and play. I couldn’t get him to concentrate in eating. After bath we just put him down in his crib and walked out. He was ok for 5 minutes trying to figure out what’s going on. Hard cry for 5-10 minutes, stop, and hard cry again.
My question is how to put him drowsy but awake if I move the feeding before bath?
Second question is the night wakings, I’ve been popping him on the boob every single time he’s up. I have a 6 years old sleeping next room and don’t want to wake her up. You suggested to night wean by reducing his feeding time 1-2 mins every 2-3 days. I have a hard time popping it out sooner. He seems to suck harder if I try to pop it out. But he’s not sucking either unless I try to pop it out. What other option do I have to night wean? The 1-2 hours waking from 12-5am is really killing me.
Is there a quicker way to cut some of the night wakings?
Thanks in advance
1) If he’s diddling around at feeding time he may not be hungry. I would try to force the issue by bringing him into a dark dull quiet room where there is nothing to really distract him. Lots of distractable nursers need to be in a dark dull room (no fun siblings to watch are allowed!).
2) YES soothing a 7 month old to sleep is really hard because he’s USED to nursing to sleep. I would add some things to your routine – maybe boob, bath, massage, books, songs, loud white noise. But basically you’re asking him to not fall asleep in really the only way he knows how. Sadly there is no quickie fix to this – this article represents really the only 3 options.
3) How long did the cry hard – stop- cry hard thing go on? Am hoping you did not do this for a while and then go nurse him (yes?). If so it should be much better already!
4) Talk to your 6 YO. For starters older siblings are pretty remarkably about NOT waking up when babies cry. Tell him what you’ll be doing and why (it’s important for the whole family to get to sleep, your brother may cry at night, we are there for him, hopefully it won’t wake you up but if it does just wait quietly until you can go back to sleep, Mommy/Daddy really need your help for a few days, etc.). Don’t parent based on “what if my 6 year old wakes up” do what you need to for all parties involved.
5) If he’s not really sucking then he’s really just suckling because that’s how he falls asleep. You can’t expect him to drop the habit instantly because he’s spent 7 months developing it. Sadly I don’t have any quicker way to drop the night feedings other than stopping cold turkey (only a good choice if you really think he’s diddling around and not really eating). This might involve some night crying but see point #5 above – might be the answer and your 6 YO will probably be pretty awesome about it.
Sorry – no magic baby sleep juice for you. Course if I did have magic baby sleep juice I would sell it. For $1M ;P
Thanks for the prompt respond. Plan for tonight: I’m going to try to feed him in a dark room. If he still not eating I guess it’s ok for him not to eat before bedtime? Will have daddy read him a book after bath and put him dowaston bed.
Last night he fell asleep after 45 minutes (yah!) but got up at 11pm which I fed him but then he got up at 2,3,4,5,6 am. I’m going to cut off feeding tonight for any wakings between 11pm-3am and 3-6am. Or should I start with 11pm-3am first? Fingers crossed for 2nd night.
Alexis, thank you so much. You are an angel.
Forgot to add we always have loud white noise in the room that play all night