Where Will Your Newborn Baby Sleep?
Everybody Sleeps in the Same Room
Ready, Set, Go - New Bedroom for New Baby
There are few things more fun for a new Mom (or even experienced Moms) than decorating the new baby’s room. We coordinate colors and stack diapers while quietly fantasizing about the sweet moments when we’ll gently lay our beloved newborn into her crib and silently creep out of the room to enjoy a healthy gourmet meal with our partner while discussing world events. Ah….its a wonderful time isn’t it?
Well chances are your precious tot will spend very little time in that lovely new room for far longer than you expect.
When Will Baby Sleep in Their Bed?
The reality is that your newborn is unlikely to sleep inside the the charming crib that you spent an entire day assembling until she is 6 months or older. Further your newborn should and probably will be sleeping with you IN YOUR ROOM for about the first 6 months.
This is called co-rooming which simply implies that the baby is somewhere within your bedroom. This is different from co-sleeping which means that the baby is actually IN your bed.
There are a number of compelling reasons for your baby to stay in your room for the first 6 months:
- Safety. Numerous health organizations (such as the American Academy of Pediatrics, SIDS Alliance and NIH) suggest that the safest place for your newborn to sleep is in your room with you.
- Convenience. Regardless of your choice to breastfeed, bottlefeed, or something in-between, your newborn is going to be eating anywhere from 2-6 times a night for months. Schlepping around the house at 3:00 AM is unappealing to even the most devoted night owls.
- Oversight. If you are like most new parents you will need to compulsively check on your newborn baby for many months. This will include waking up every time they make a noise (note: newborns make a LOT of noise), checking their toes to make sure they aren’t cold, and of course – making sure they are still breathing. Its not just you – we all do this.
Everybody Sleeps in the Same Room
Accepting this reality far simplifies the process of sleep parenting for the first few months. It removes any pressure to try to shoehorn baby into their room for a while. And it frees you to look at your bedroom and make changes that will help both you AND baby sleep safely and comfortably for the first few months. So take a few minutes out of your room decorating fun and think about what might make you both more comfortable in YOUR room. Consider things like block-out blinds, white noise generator, and of course a safe-sleep option that fits comfortably next to your bed, that you will undoubtedly use in the coming months.
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The baby in this picture is under a blanket? I thought you could use light blankets so long as they’re tucked in tightly. What’s the general rule on this stuff — if the temp is supposed to be 68 – 72, what kind of clothing layers, blankets, etc. can you use? At what ages is it safer to put a blanket in there? Thx, Matt
I don’t think blankets are ideal. But this picture was SOOOO awesome I couldn’t pass it up.
The odds of a light blanket posing an entrapment or strangulation hazard is VERY low. Still if you want to be extremely safety conscious, it’s better to avoid all blankets till age 1. And frankly I’m a fan of no blankets till 2. Not because a 1.5 YO is at risk with a blanket but because they move around so much that they become dislodged so they aren’t really effective warming tools for little kids.
Alexis recently posted..Is Cry it Out the Answer?
I smoke 3-5 cigs a day & am currently co sleeping (nt by choice) I’m wondering why ‘they’ say co sleeping isn’t safe for smoking parents (although I don’t smoke before bed & alws wash hands\mouth thoroughly) any ideas why ‘they’ say this?
Also my baby has a lot of the silent reflux syptoms & cries between 10am & 3am most nites,I do use a flattish mini pillow for her so she isn’t lying flat,is this ok? I also use a quilt (comforter) which I have once found covering her face,would you recommend seperate blanket for baby in bed?
I have read your blog about swing and I am going to try with it although I am concerned it will be uncomfortable for 8 hour night sleep ?
I’m really sorry to bombard you with Q’s its just as a first time mom with a crying baby and a partner who works nite’s I am more than a lil stressed
P.s I love yr information,so informative plus witty and comical. Love Nicola xx
Oh honey, I’m a little worried about you! Reflux? Unwillingly co-sleeping? Solo parenting at night? That’s a lot of rough stuff there. Is there anybody you can reach out to for a little help? Family?
OK here’s my 2 cents.
1) No smoking while co-sleeping. There is TONS of evidence that this is a bad idea. Basically cigarettes depress your awareness of your baby while in bed with you. And 2nd-hand smoke has a significant negative impact on your baby. Both of which greatly increase the risk of SIDS. PLEASE find another place for her to sleep.
“They” is the American Academy of Pediatrics – over 50,000 pediatric doctors and specialists. You can read up more about it here:
http://aappolicy.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/pediatrics;105/3/650
2) No blankets and no baby positioners either. Again both of these are additional risk factors for SIDS. How do you stay warm when co-sleeping? Turn the heat up or wear warmer jammies. Or, as I am strongly suggesting, have her sleep some place other than your bed (then you can use your quilt again!).
3) If she is struggling with reflux maybe you could talk to your pediatrician? I would also ask your pediatrician about the use of blankets and co-sleeping while smoking. I can almost guarantee that they’ll back up my advice on this.
4) Babies don’t find the swing uncomfortable. Most safe baby sleep surfaces are pretty hard (baby mattresses are like rocks) so the swing isn’t much different. If your baby has reflux the angle of the swing should help a lot. Check out the article below for more ideas on managing reflux.
I know lots of people feel funny about asking for help – I get it, I do. But this is no time to be proud. Babies are hard. Refluxing babies are super hard. Night parenting without any help is brutally hard. Ask for help. If you don’t know where to get help, as your pediatrician for advice.
I’m sending lots of positive thoughts your way. Best of luck with everything!
Alexis
Alexis recently posted..What to Do About Infant Reflux?
LOVE your blog!
Baby is sleeping great in our room at night in a rock-n-play sleeper. We are having nap trouble….where do you think is the best place for napping? Right now we’re rocking/bouncing to sleep and putting down is not problem at night…but during the day we get to sleep and are trying to put in swing or rock-n-play after…but always in the same room as us…should naps be in the same room as we are like nighttime sleep?
Oh, baby is 2 months.
It’s generally good to have baby sleeping in the same place all the time. Although at 2 months you don’t need to be nutzo about it. As he gets older the light and activity of “Where you are” will start to work against you and the consistency, darkness, and low activity of “where he sleeps” will be more important.
Also this is a GREAT time to play around with putting him awake in the swing (vs. rocking to sleep first). Not a critical “must do today” thing but something to play around with, ok?
Alexis recently posted..Great Holiday Books for Kids
Thankyou for this article! I wish I had found your site while I was still pregnant!
Instead my husband & I have established not so helpful sleep habits for our 7wo son. Essentially after starting with a bassinet I our bedroom, I ended up finding it was ‘easier’ & less disrupting to my hubby if I just moved out to the living roomfornursing and soothing. Eventually I nursed him to sleep on the couch and he just slept on me… Now i still nurse to sleep, then attempt to move baby to my husband on the other couch after each nursing session from about 6-7pm until about 3-6am.
I’m now finally realizing this is not healthy sleep for baby as he is usually woken up when I move hi the first time, then he cries to sleep as my hubby tries to soothe him to sleep, then my husband will move during his sleep or while awake (often on his laptop), which leads to baby crying and me returning to nurse again (between nursing, I move to our bedroom with loud white noise and earplugs so that I. Can’t hear baby’s every little whimper or cry since I know he’s safe with daddy & every noise makes this new moms heart race).
Sounds like I. Need to figure out how to transition baby to his rock n play in our bedroom. ( I already have it dark and with white noise). But I’m just scared to do it bc I know he cries once I set him down. How do I know he’s okay to lay there? I’m just a nervous new mom as I’m guessing is clear to see.
Any tips? Do I just lay him down asleep in his rock n play and then just let him cry next to me? Sounds so hard to do
If you’re still reading this, THANKYOU!!!!! =)
Sleeping with baby on a couch is not safe! PLEASE read this and get a baby swing if you don’t have one–I promise if you commit to this things will improve and you can all move out of the living room:
http://www.troublesometots.com/the-ultimate-baby-swing-sleep-guide-for-swing-hating-babies/
Congrats on your new baby and good luck!
Thanks, Kate
We were not in a traditional couch situation as my hubby was sitting upright and rarely slept as he works at night. I agree that it’s not ideal though!
Right after I posted I started cosleeping. Still not my ideal, but working for us for now…
Aha, that makes sense. We coslept too, for the first 6 months or so. I really don’t know how we would have gotten any sleep at all otherwise in the newborn days! When it became necessary to make the switch we used Alexis’s swing methods, both for naps (as replacement for baby carrier) and for bedtime, (as replacement for nursing while doing deep knee bends for 45 minutes OMG).
Thanks again! How long did u end up using the swing? we only have a mamaRoo, which does move, though not as much as a true swing. He likes it for bits of play now though – just never longer than 15 minutes.
He’s not a fan of our baby carriers, but I’m trying. Though if he starts truly crying (vs whimpers), I give in and hold him instead. As for tose squats, think you and I both ought to have killer quads after these kiddos
lol!
Hi Jessica,
I used the rock and play sleeper for 6 months and loved it (most of the time). It was much easier for me to transfer sleeping baby into the rnp than into a co-sleeper/bassinet because of the angle. Also, I would lean over the bed and rock it gently if baby woke up upon transfer.
Another thought for you, at 7 weeks, your baby is still a peanut. You could try swing or even rocking him to sleep (in your arms until drowsy or even asleep) and then transfer him into a swing or the rnp. Alexis says motion is an easier sleep crutch to wean than sucking to sleep. Just something to think about while you still have so much time.
Thanks, Jennifer! I did try the transfer to the r&p myself, yet he began screaming pretty quickly. Though I do admit I gave up pretty quickly as well. Now that he’s almost 11 weeks maybe I should try again? Do I just try it over and over and over? Picking him up each time he cries and soothe him back to sleep? (I’m exhausted and frazzled just thinking about that!)
You used the r&p for your baby’s first 6 months? Then over to… The crib? Did you use it for naps as well?
Hi Jessica,
Just so you know, at 7 weeks, I would rock him or bounce him until he was asleep. I only nursed to sleep when he woke in the middle of the night, and then I think he was legitimately hungry. If he woke up upon transfer, I would sneak behind the rnp and rock it. As he got older and moved into his own room (around 5 months), I would sneak into his room and rock the rnp when he woke up. I know it sounds silly. It probably would’ve been easier to use a swing, but my baby loved motion! The good thing was that he learned to fall asleep by himself in the rnp. I used the rnp for naps and night time. I only used it for sleeping, along with dark room, swaddle and white noise. We transfered to crib at 6 months when he started to roll over. Baby sleep can be extremely stressful! Good Luck!!!
Believe it or not, baby has now napped THREE times for 30 minutes in his mamaRoo
Thank-you white noise and darkened rooms. And thankyou for all of your tips and support!